My husband has pointed out to me on many occasions that I am several different people. Each one has her on mannerisms and expressions. I laughed and asked," So you think I am crazy?"
Then I thought about it for a long time and realized he was right. Not in the crazy way but he was right.
My emotions are so strong that they do seem come from different people. He has said that he knows exactly who he is dealing with by looking at my face. Each person has features that are unique. And if there is ever any doubt as to who he is dealing with thatdoubt is erased the minute I open my mouth to speak.
Here they are as he and I see them.
The little girl; she needs him to be strong, understanding, and protective. She comes to light
whenever things become hopeless, and I feel helpless. I sit with his arms around me and feel completely safe. She however is not easy to deal with, she pouts and sometimes throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. A bit of a brat, I would say. But not him, no never he just gives in.
The passionate lover; she needs to feel desired, she wants only to please him. To make him feel as though he were a king and be THE ONE, the one he will never forget. For the first five years, she was around more than the others were. So much that he would try to avoid contact with her. Now she doesn’t show up often enough. She cannot be enticed to appear, he has tried, flowers, candy, romance. He is often frustrated by her as more often than not she shows up at inconvenient times. There are many days he kicks himself for not taking as much advantage of those early years as he could have.
The caregiver; she needs to care for him and lift his burden. She is the one who wakes at 4:30 am to make breakfast for him before he leaves at 5. She has mowed the lawn and done the yard work at 6:30 am so he would not have to do it after work in the heat of the afternoon. He made a slight mistake with her as well in the early years. Then when he would come
home, she would run a bath for him and when the bath was done, she would sit on the floor and rub his feet. She knew what he wanted before he even asked. Then one day he said, "I don’t want you doing everything for me, it isn’t right." So she stopped doing it all and now he wishes she too were around more often.
The partner; she speaks her mind, she doesn’t stand back while he runs things. She says what she thinks and then it is up to him to act. I am sure that there are times she can be aggressive in her opinions, but when he doesn't take her advice she never says, "I told you." No that is a silent statement that echoes in his mind with much greater effect than if she had spoken
Then there is the one he hates, the one he calls the "BITCH." I refer to her as the Amazon she neither needs nor wants any man. He says that she can appear without warning, that he can get up leave the room for a few minutes and when he returns, she is waiting for him. I thought this was just an exaggeration but after close examination of my own behavior, I find it is right on target. He knows her by sight. He says that her face is thinner, longer, and her eyes are wider. I
laugh at this, how can a face change so much? But he swears that it is true and it must be, because when I am feeling what I call "irritable"(and yes, those irritable feelings can come over me without warning or cause) he finds things to do that do not involve contact with me. The Amazon however is always looking for a fight and she will not be denied so she goes in search of him.
He has discovered, through living with me, who he is dealing with at any given moment and knows exactly what I need and when.
As for the Amazon; when she pops in for a visit he goes out for a while. God Bless him, he must love me.